Message from CDA, Ms. Ludwig
I remember how much as a teen I dreaded going to family gatherings to talk to relatives I only saw once or twice a year.
The worst was having to sit and pose for family photos wearing a sweater that made me feel itchy and uncomfortable.
But do you know what was the worst?
The lack of control I felt throughout the holiday season. It didn’t matter how I felt…I needed to show up with a smile on my face at every event.
As your children get older, they will also want to push back and refuse to go to events or participate in family activities.
It can be frustrating to experience this as parents, but here’s the thing.
You can honor your children’s feelings AND still set expectations for the holiday season.
Here’s what I mean:
Consider choosing only 1 or 2 events that are the most important for you and your family this year and then let the rest go.
Your conversation with your tween or teen may sound like this:
“I know you want to spend time with your friends this month too. There are two events the whole family needs to be a part of. Our family photo shoot with our holiday outfits and attendance at Grandma’s holiday party at the end of the month. We can be flexible with everything else.”
Teens often crave independence and connection with peers, even during the holidays.
By only choosing a couple of key events or activities they need to be a part of, they can still feel a sense of control by making some of their own decisions too.
It’s all about compromise.
When you take a moment to understand that your teen’s needs may differ from yours, having flexibility during the holidays can ease the stress on both sides.
