Message from CDA, Ms. Ludwig
For every milestone and accomplishment–we’re there to shower our children with praise.
We praise them to encourage self-esteem and motivation (and because we really think everything, they do is wonderful!).
But all this often-automatic praise can actually have the opposite effect:
Praise that’s ineffective or unhelpful can ultimately lower children’s motivation and self-esteem.
It can also put pressure on children that makes them shy away from challenges.
On the other hand, effective praise can nurture our child’s intrinsic motivation. It can encourage confidence, resilience, and self-direction.
So, here’s what we mean by effective praise:
✨It’s specific “I see you followed the instructions and now it’s ready!” instead of “Good job!”
Specific praise highlights exactly what your child did well, giving them feedback they can use in their next activity.
✨It focuses on actions, rather than ability “You stuck with it until you figured out how to solve the problem!” instead of “You’re so smart!”
Action-based praise doesn’t put pressure on your child but encourages them to try new things and be more accepting of mistakes.
✨It focuses on your child’s goals, rather than YOUR goals “Thank you for picking up your toys. Now you have lots of space for fun activities!” instead of “Good job cleaning your room!”
And praise that focuses on your child’s goals motivates them to repeat the desired behavior.
This week’s guide “Avoid Automatic Praise” includes more examples of the praise that’s helpful, effective, and intrinsically motivating.
